Thursday, July 21, 2011

7/21/11 monologue

Well (tear) the shuttle Atlantis fell back to Earth this morning, to close out NASA's 135th and final shuttle voyage, a long-awaited--and long-dreaded--milestone marking the end of an era for American manned space flight.

Sad. But consider that the 405 is open again and, I might add, ahead of schedule. Priorities people.
Kim Kardashian is going to sue Old Navy for Using Look-Alike in an advertisement.

This’ll be the only time I ever want to sit on a jury. Who wouldn’t want to? Just comparing badonkadonks all day? “We’re still not sure your honor.”

Eric Dane, who plays the hunky Dr. Mark Sloan on Grey's Anatomy, went to rehab for an addiction to painkillers earlier this summer.
                The plot lines of the show were just, just so painful.

Presidential hopeful Michelle Bachmann is adamant that her migraines won't impede her White House goals.
Of course, she thinks she’s referring to her barley, oats, and buckwheat but we won’t break the news to her.

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