Monday, July 18, 2011

7/18/11 monologue

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 racked up $168.6 million over the weekend. That beat the record $158.4 million set in 2008 by the Batman film, The Dark Night.
            Wait till you hear this Christian Bale tirade. “F***ing quidditch! What the f*** is quidditch!?”
In some sad news, J-Lo and Marc Antony are divorcing. The superstar couple announced last Friday they are breaking up.



I think it’s because they don’t have a good couple name like Brangelina. Granted, her ass has a lot of good names but it doesn’t have the same oomph.

The Sarah Palin documentary The Undefeated took an estimated $65000-$75000 in its opening weekend at the US box office, a figure described as "soft" in some reports.
Soft? Any softer and you can wipe your ass with these figures. You would figure that with all the Botox she injects that her movie’s figures would be taut at the least. I want to see her forehead move or wrinkle. Just once.

Guests at the Aria Resort in Las Vegas who visited the hotel between June 25 and July 4 are being notified of the possibility they have been infected with Legionnaires Disease during their stay. What happens in Vegas may include:
           
·         Cough, which may bring up mucus and sometimes blood
·         Shortness of breath
·         Chest pain
·         Fatigue
·         Loss of appetite
·         Gastrointestinal symptoms, such as nausea, vomiting and diarrhea
·         Confusion or other mental changes

And get this, women are more likely to send nude photographs than men, a new study has revealed.
            Yeah, men don’t like the shrinkage that occurs in cell phone images.

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