Thursday, March 29, 2012

Favorite Sight in The World - Best Ever!

My new favorite sight in the world: Guy in huge pickup truck with Vortec 2.9L I-4 engine, Sequential Fuel Injection with 2 stage multi leaf rear suspension and StabiliTrak® Electronic Stability Control System adorned with silver plated Delta Champion Gear-Lock Single-Lid Crossover tool box… waiting on the side of the road for AAA because he has no fucking idea how to change a flat.

Monday, March 5, 2012

You might want to ask someone else out when she says:

I can’t tonight, I have to delouse my cats and catch up on my Hardy Boys mysteries.
I would but my mom is in town for the star trek convention and she has to stay at my place because of the reverse restraining order.
I’d love to. Can we go to the vegan restaurant because I am totally spiritually opposed to eating meat and other assorted vitamins and minerals?
Is it ok if I come late? My dungeons and dragons game ends at 6 on Friday nights. Plus I’ll have to ditch my warlock smock as it’ll have fairy dust all over it by then.
Why don’t you come over to my place instead? I make a mean mutton and haggis casserole served with blood sausage.
Oh great, I’m supposed to think this is a coincidence right? I am getting my corpus collosum, appendix, floating rib, and 3rd tongue piercing removed and now you ask me out?
I know put us together but I just want you to know, I may have fibbed a bit about not being institutionalized during the war of 1812.
I can’t, I’ll be camping out for Hunger Games tickets.