Friday, June 24, 2011

6/24/11 monologue

Today is Take Your Dog To Work Day. With the NFL locked out, Mike Vick suited up his dog and showed it a nickel package with a zone blitz. Let’s just say the dog didn’t fare very well.
Justin Bieber launched a new perfume. It is called “Someday”, as in someday I belieb I’ll hit puberty.
A documentary celebrating the career of Sarah Palin will debut next Tuesday in the first-in-the-nation presidential voting state of Iowa. Coincidence? Yes, actually. Because Sarah’s tour bus broke down and she decided to be a high school history teacher. She’s gonna ring those bells and warn the British about the apostles ruining the pyramids.

House of Representatives Democrat Barney Frank and conservative Republican libertarian Ron Paul joined forces to introduce a bill that would take marijuana off the government's list of controlled substances and eliminate criminal penalties. On the one hand I want to applaud this and on the other I fear Barney Frank with the munchies.