Wednesday, April 6, 2011

4/6/11 monologue

Maybe you heard that British billionaire Richard Branson announced plans to launch a submarine to the deepest points of the world's five oceans. It is not yet known if anybody wants Branson to surface.

The Master’s golf tournament begins tomorrow. Moving on.

Molto Bene! Silvio Berlusconi is charged with sexual misconduct and abuse of power involving a teenage performer known as Ruby the heart stealer. Yeah, it’s been said that Silvio threw some orgies. Or as they call it in Italy, after dinner.

Actress Ashley Judd has opened up about her difficult childhood, which left her suffering from depression. She talks about the difficulties of being the child of a mother who was constantly touring in a new memoir, All That Is Bitter ... You have to feel bad for Ashely. I mean, what’s it like being the only Judd who can’t sing. Not exactly a hit at the family reunions. Oh, you act, isn’t that nice.

Get this folks, Extreme Couponing is TLC's latest reality series and is quickly becoming a major hit with fans. The show centers around people who make others wait for them in grocery store lines while they take out dozens of coupons to save a pretty penny. And you thought that person with 15 items in the express lane was bad. Now the woman in front of you is making the cashier who can’t drive yet scan through the coupon equivalent of war and peace. Do you really need to save 15 cents on KY jelly lady?

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