Wednesday, May 4, 2011

5/4/11 monologue

A spokesman for George W. Bush says the former president has declined an invitation from President Barack Obama to attend an observance at New York's ground zero. Jealous much!? Actually former President Bush can’t make it because he’ll be busy on an aircraft carrier claiming “mission accomplished.”
Get this, police arrested a 17-year-old boy accused of robbing an usher who worked at the baseball stadium where the Pittsburgh Pirates play after he stopped his car while having a heart attack on his way home from an extra-inning game. How else was he supposed to pay $50 bucks for a soda and a box of cracker jacks?
The musical "The Book of Mormon" leads with Tony 14 nominations, including one for best musical. What you don’t know is that Joseph Smith hallucinated this years ago.
In more pseudo musical news, Miley Cyrus covered Nirvana’s 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' during a concert in Ecuador last Friday. Can Kurt Cobain kill himself twice? Is that possible?
Nearly 6 in 10 Americans say they would never vote for Donald Trump or Sarah Palin for president, a new poll shows. In related news, 4 in 10 americans are insane.

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