Ashton & Demi are divorcing. Looks like the cougar and the grave robber couldn’t meet in the proverbial middle after she started receiving her social security checks and he saw his birth certificate.
Herman Cain is getting some national security. Any chicks on the force? Didn’t think so.
Obama is sending troops to Australia. Krikey! I didn’t even know they had oil.
Breaking Wind, er I mean, Breaking Dawn opens today and it is getting some horrible reviews. Some are saying it isn’t realistic enough, especially the birthing of the vampire by a nonvampire with the wolfman serving as the midwife only to then be overtaken his evil twin the germanshepherdman who insists throughout the movie that “zee bats are comingk, zee bats are comingk!”
I saw this headline 'Top 10 Tips for Black Friday Shopping Virgins' and just thought...lube.
Regis Philbin is retiring and it’s been said that he is actually willing to marinate and grill himself if Kelly Ripa would just eat something.