Wednesday, August 3, 2011

8/3/11 monologue

Leonardo DiCaprio is the Highest-Paid Actor in Hollywood. Leo took in an estimated $77 million last year.

Did you know that Leo got his start on Growing Pains? Let’s see how Kirk Cameron is doing. Oh wait, I’m getting word that Kirk is debating Stephen Hawking on  whether or not Jesus rode dinosaurs to warn of the british coming.           

Speaking of the british coming, the Alaska hair salon made famous for Sarah Palin's up-do is getting the reality show treatment in a two-part series to be aired in September on TLC.

Doesn’t TLC stand for The Learning Channel? What exactly are we learning from Sarah Palin’s hair stylists? We get it, she’s got hair and you shape it. TLC ought to stand for The Lowest Common Denominator. “We’s learning so good from this channel that we’s can just skip the gardenkinder and goes straights to college.”
Former Playmate and Hugh Hefner ex-girlfriend Kendra Wilkinson has gotten up in the grill of another Hef-ex, Crystal Harris. Take a listen:
"At first I was really proud," Wilkinson says. "I was like, 'Wow, she's being classy about things.' But then lately, she's just like totally running her mouth and it's hard."

Mmm, that’s hard core right there. Cuz like and you know like, wow. It is hard Kendra. Hard for you to speak and hard for me to listen.  After hearing these women talk, no wonder it’s hard for Hef to get hard.

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