Wednesday, February 15, 2012

News Knows Nose Knews

Braless wife beater shirts should have been listed in the credits at the end of the dance movie Honey with Jessica Alba. They had more screen time than Yoda in The Empire Strikes Back.
Adele’s 21 has almost 40000 reviews on itunes. Do people work anymore? The infrastructure is crumbling and Joe Construction writes “5 stars! Adele made me believe in music again. I’ll be rolling in the deep for a long time.”
Hugh Hefner’s son is a misogynist and water is wet. But what are his turn offs? Bad breath, 80’s rock, and Dad’s pajama collection.
Bill o’Reilly took the opportunity to beat a dead hoarse when he said that newly deceased Whitney Houston “wanted to kill herself.” Way to give em time to grieve Billy. The body isn’t even cold and Billy is jabbing it with a shark hook and spreading falafel all over it.
Kate Upton graces the cover on SI’s swimsuit issue. There is also a blurb in the issue about the NFL cancelling the next 8 seasons and replacing itself with badminton.

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