Thursday, March 24, 2011

My recent email to customer service rep Samantha


I figure you are just “doing your job” here but in doing your job you have to hear my rant. And I know the customer is always right so sit back, relax, and be wrong.

“Please allow 2 - 15 business days for delivery” 15 days. Is everyone at overstock on crack or barbiturates or something? An overweight oprah winfrey could walk my order to me in 15 days. From Belgium! C’mon, where is that overstock spirit…to be better than odd lots. I guess with that stiff odd lots competition overstock has withered and has settled like your current boyfriend. Just kidding. Sort of.

Let me get this straight, if I don’t get my order that was placed on sept 24th by October 14th I should contact you. Shit I could get pregnant and have a kid by then. And that assumes that technology will soon allow a male to have a kid. I’m no math major but that is 20 days. Count em, 20. It is not like you had to write the book, take the pictures, bind it and all that. You merely had to throw it on a truck. Did I fall asleep and wake up in 1850? Is this thing getting to me by pony express? Hot air balloon? Did I order special original Gutenberg bibles by mistake? 20 days.

My god Samantha do you have any idea what can happen in 20 days. My rash could clear up and I may not need the book in 20 days.

I tell you this, if I win the lottery in the interim, I am going to send those books back to overstock (you should receive them in a mere 480 hours) and head out to odd lots for some of the finer things in life.

Are we clear Samantha?

Samantha: “Crystal Sir.”

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