Talkin'

The Funner is talkin’…bout this and that and that and uh…

Kate Middleton had her picture taken… when she was topless…and England is pissed. Ah the British, so stuffy. She’s young, she’s pretty, and she’s royal now, what’s the big deal about exposed mammaries? Mammary, mammary, speak to me mammary. I just hope they don’t go crazy and have some hooligans turn over a dust bin in Shaftsbury.

And the presidential campaigning is heating up…if you like that sort of thing. Kinda like having a hot sewing needle inserted into your pupil. He said this, he said that. It’s like the 8^th grade with Teleprompters. Did you see Mitt in phys ed? Gross.

And how bout this movie sparking protests in the Middle East? Where the hell were they when Breakin’ II Electric Boogaloo was made? Talk about a movie we should protest. That and Moulin Rouge.

The NFL enters week 2 this Sunday and somehow, the Browns have already been mathematically eliminated from the NFL’s Jacuzzi tubs. The Browns have had more high draft picks than the Army in Vietnam and yet, not one sighting of Agent Orange in one Cincinnati Bengal! Where is Herm Edwards when you need him? We play to win the game. Unless you are Pat Shurmur. “Shurmur High School Shurmur Illinois.” Apparently Pat Shurmur is in some sort of love triangle with Brandon Weedon and overthrown balls. And by overthrown balls, I mean overthrown balls.

In worse quarterback news, Mark Sanchez is dating Eva Longoria. Hey Mark you got nothing on Tim Couch. Tim used to bang former playmate of the year Heather Kozar… and without Tim Tebow around saying “dude, you should wait until marriage.”

The Browns 2012 First Round Draft and Terry Pluto

Cleveland Plain Dealer’s Terry Pluto kills me. He has no objectivity when it comes to the Browns. Fan first, writer second. Here’s why:

On Trent Richardson: He has “pistons for legs.”
He said the same thing about William Green and we all know how that turned out.

On the trade to get Richardson: “This was a masterful move for Browns General Manager Tom Heckert, who was able to grab an impact running back without giving up a second- or third-round choice.”
Please tell me Terry, how he is an impact running back without ever having played a down in the NFL. I know you are excited but at least feign some objectivity.
Again on Richardson: … “they at least have come away with one future star in Richardson.”
Oh Christ, who is taking bets on this? Tim Couch was going to be a star, Willie Green was going to be a star, Colt McCoy was going to be a starter, blah blah blah. Hope springs eternal for fans but you think Pluto would have a smidge of objectivity.
And oh by the way, remember Terry Pluto loving Derek Anderson and his “big arm?” Check this out:

A different dog with the same fleas.
The Browns do the same thing over and over and over and expect a different result.
Sometimes the truth hurts Terry Pluto, every Browns fan should know that.