WWWSD?

Albert Schweitzer talked about a reverence for life. George Carlin skewered our so-called sanctity of life. Leonard Cohen wrote that Jesus sank beneath your wisdom like a stone. Walter Sobchak might ask, What’s yer point dude?

Here’s the point for all the Walters of the world. Nothing is objective and nothing is the only thing that is objective. And so in the end, or as Martin Heidegger called it, at bottom, we are left with subjectivity. Say it with me: subjectivity.

Now I know that scares the livin’ shit out of a lot of you. Your fear is unfounded my friends. Why is it unfounded Obi Wan? In two words: the past.

Reach back through the anus of history and you’ll…wait… annals, I mean annals of history… and you’ll find that nothing was objective. Take any moral precept you like and you’ll find that it was violated ad nauseam. How you like them apples? I just used the phrase ad nauseam in a sentence!

You may say a la Samuel Jackson “well allow me to retort.” You may quote Sgt Waters’ from ‘A Soldier’s Story’ and say that “not havin’ is no reason for not gittin’.” And you may say that the past doesn’t determine the future.

But time “don’t work that way yo.” Time is a lake you’re swimming in with all three swooshing around you constantly. And this lake “don’t be havin no objective moral precepts yo.” So my little Walters, you are left to swim around with the carp and catfish and you’ll undoubtedly end up with some sort of rash.

But the recent amoralist in the NY Times hit the nail on the head, or maybe he hit the bottle, I don’t really care. The point Walter is that we are left to our own devices. OUR OWN DEVICES. Sometimes it’s mercy and sometimes it’s an M-16.