Showing posts with label george carlin homage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label george carlin homage. Show all posts

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Bag of Hammers

So, along with the Red Sox’ incredible tank last year being part of god’s plan (per 1st baseman Adrian Gonzalez), now the shooting death of Travon Martin is now part of god’s plan per accused gunman George Zimmerman.
I think it was George Carlin who once lamented that pro athletes never say that “jesus tripped me up at the goal line.” Well now thanks to Gonzalez and Zimmerman, we have to god to thank for some immeasurable suffering. Well, in comparison to Cleveland sports teams that is.
And now George Zimmerman is pawning off the death of Trayvon Martin as providence.
Now we all know that a good god and human suffering create quite the philosophical conundrum. Perfect, good god… bad things – doesn’t add up. So to square this circle a philosopher named Leibnitz said that “if you could see things from the eyes of god, there is no evil…all things are good because evil can’t happen from a perfect, good god. You name it, it’s good. Abortion, slavery, the holocaust, Jerry Sandusky, even the ice capades…good things.
Doesn’t sit too well does it? It didn’t sit well with Voltaire either.











And that brings us to George Zimmerman. Good Christian, non racist, gun loving, “we don’t need you to do that” George Zimmerman. George wants to place the death of Trayvon Martin in god’s hands. Nice try. Theologically, you just might be ok Georgie, let us inquire about some catholic priests who get through the pearly gates... but you see George, a la O’ Brother Where Art Thou, the law is a little more hard-nosed.
Ahh George…dumber than a bag of hammers…with a bifurcated tail????

Monday, May 16, 2011

White People Blues (in Ab)

White People Blues (in Ab)

Banana Republic ran out of khakis
And the espresso machine is jammed
repeat
I have to pay junior’s fraternity dues
I’ve got those white people blues

Hootie and the Blowfish broke up
NBC cancelled my favorite show
repeat
So many desserts at Cracker Barrel I just can’t choose
I’ve got those white people blues

I can’t dance
My volkswagon jetta needs waxed
repeat
My offshore interest accounts have me so confused
I’ve got those white people blues

                BRIDGE
                My wife wants to go to the caymen’s
                My kids want the azores
                Hard to find time to golf
                When you’re tanning on distant shores, you know I’ve got those

White people blues