Went to the Circus Bit

I went to the circus the other day with my wife and child. And while most people were there with their kids or grandkids, there were some other, shall we say, very identifiable, very obvious, uber-conspicuous…fuh-reeks!

One…family I guess…behind us, had no problem sharing their life story at a volume that could be heard, oh I don’t know, above circus volume…so that gives you a little tipoff right there. And the child in this 3 person family…let’s call him junior, junior that is bearing down on 20 years old, about to go 250 lbs is at the circus with mom and dad! When you are 20 and enjoying the circus with mom and dad, some people, some very astute people, might fear that you want to skin them and wear them as a hat. But junior at the circus isn’t the least of your problems because then you notice the pedophiles…that showed you to your seat. I kid, I kid the circus staff. I’m sure ushering at the circus in Podunk Rhode Island is just part of paying your dues to usher at the next Black Sabbath reunion concert at the outdoor pavilion in sleepy hollow Iowa. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe you work up selling t-shirts for Mary J Blige, I don’t know.

And since when is the Big Top a nesting ground for beetles? How can I enjoy the contortionist when I’m picking the beetles from my popcorn while hearing junior explain to his parents his favorite part is coming up next, when she…and I’m quoting junior here: “gets her hooch behind her ears.?”

And my wife, god bless her, wanted to get their early, to, you know, “get good seats.” Yeah, the mezzanine at this big top is 20 feet away from the center of the ring. Whew! Glad we showed up an hour and a half early. Otherwise we may not have had a good view of the porcupine walk across the bridge.

And since when do people attend the same circus so much that they know what is going to happen? I can quote breakfast club because I had nothing better to do when I was 15 but when you are 40, you should have something better to do than memorize the phony legs under the stairs bit. When do you have time to make rice-a-roni and do your taxes when you are at the circus so much? I knew they were phony all along by the way.

But my son enjoyed the show and we tried not to touch a whole lot of things so all things considered, minus the lock jaw and the tetanus shot, it was quite a circus.